How to start that online conversation with five easy steps
Let’s be frank, after that first excitement of receiving an online dating wink, nudge and hello, it can all become a bit of a drain. There’s only so many “how r u?”, “Hi there”, and “What u up to?” opening lines you can take. I mean, talk about unimaginative, or what?! If you’re like me, you get to the point of simply not responding to anyone that dull.
This is the 21st century – our concentration span’s less than that of a goldfish! If you’re going to hook someone, you’ve got to do it immediately! With that in mind, here are a few tried and tested methods of getting into conversation.
1. Don’t wait too long.
If you’re feeling a little timid, by all means send out a wink or nudge and wait for responses first. But, as soon as someone returns the favour, send them a message. You’ve got over the hard bit – they’ve looked at your profile and liked what they saw enough to send you a wink in return. Now’s the time for acting – not infinite nudges back and forth.
2. Banish the bores.
Seriously, don’t be boring. You have one chance to impress, so don’t lead with a “how’s u?” line.
3. Use Proper Spelling.
That leads me to my next point; please, use proper spelling! Maybe it’s just me, but bad spelling is almost an instant block. It’s not a tweet or a text, it’s an online message. If you can’t afford the time to actually write some a decent message, how can you expect them to spend time replying?
4. Use Compliments.
Compliment someone. Seriously. It gives people a nice feeling. And, when I say compliment, I don’t mean “hey, you’re hot” – though that can be nice sometimes. Being specific comes over a little more genuine though…i.e. “I love your smile” or “Your eyes are so blue. Gorgeous”.
As an aside – I HATE the term cute. At someone’s first glance, I want to be hot, hunky, gorgeous or stunning – not cute. Maybe avoid that term until you’re actually dating.
5. Find an interest.
If you’re nervous about complimenting someone, then pick out something in their profile to talk about. It helps if you ask a question too. For example, if someone says they like the movies, ask them which genre they love, or who their favourite actor is. If you have similar interests to someone, perhaps walking, mention where you like to go and ask if they’ve done any walking routes.
The key is to get people to engage. If you’re asking about something on their profile, it shows you’ve actually taken the time to read it!
All in all, it’s pretty simple; message after the first nudge/wink response, don’t lead with a boring opening, have good spelling, compliment people and show interest in their profiles. Do all of those, and you’ll be onto a great start for a potential date!