Our General Manager, David Richards, shares some of the most common errors that women make when creating their online profiles.
Even before I started writing dating profiles professionally, I have seen a lot of internet dating profiles in my time. I’ve rejected a lot of you, and have been rejected by a lot more of you! I also like to think I’m a relatively emotionally intelligent chap.
So here is my honest opinion about where women go wrong when it comes to internet dating profiles!
Usernames: the strange, the gloomy, the stuck-up…
In my view usernames can only achieve one of two things. It either produces no reaction whatsoever, or, worse, rings alarm bells!
If you’re worried that using your real name and age is boring, don’t be – men won’t even notice! All they are focused on is your photograph and the contents of your profile.
By contrast, usernames like lonelyheart123, unlucky_in_love or smokinghot456 will instantly set off alarm bells. Don’t bother trying to make a statement. Online, it’s a lot easier to jump to conclusions about people from the smallest things; as a result, quirky usernames are not a good way to stand out.
Do’;t dwell on your username too much, make sure your photos and profile ad are solid though!
Being ‘too good to be online’
If you’ve chosen to date online, embrace it. Don’t use your profile to moan about it! It is no longer taboo to find your partner online, in fact, it’s the most likely option now!
You have an online profile – you’ve clicked on all the drop-down menus and filled in (most of) the boxes. If you’re there, at least accept that you’re there.
Finding someone to love is every living thing’s purpose in life, and if technology has developed to enable the search for that mate, we should simply embrace that assistance. So save that melodramatic “I can’t believe I’m doing this” line – it’s neither original nor attractive!
In a similar vein, don’t let your ego get in the way of your personality. If you’ve taken the time to click all the buttons, you may as well give it a proper go. Blasé profiles don’t seem cool – they give the impression that you don’t care enough. If you’ve settled on a particular dating website and spent time creating a profile, you may as well fill out the boxes properly!
Dating sites like Match and POF have massive amounts of female users, guys have a choice now – don’t give them any reason to skip your profile!
Bullet points or War and Peace
If I see an essay of a profile, I’m not going to read it. Harsh but true. Or at least, I may read it, but frankly I’ll only be reading it out of curiosity!
No matter how witty or interesting it ends up being, I’m unlikely to ever contact the profile owner, because subconsciously I’m wondering, “What kind of woman would write such an essay and expect people to not think she’s totally desperate?”
Conversely, if a profile is too short and snappy, you run the risk of joining the mountain of other generic, forgettable profiles that fail to stand out. Dating is a numbers game, after all, especially in 2015. Put a bit of “you” in the profile (or let us do it for you 🙂 )
Leave the comedy to the professionals
Try and be funny… but not too funny. Humour can be hard to convey in the written form, and we all have our own opinion of what constitutes “funny”. The odd joke or quip can be endearing, and guys will generally appreciate the effort, but don’t try to force it.
If you simply try to be yourself as you write your profile, your sense of humour will shine through; save the knock knock jokes for a face-to-face conversation.
It’s the online equivalent of sleeping with the guy on the first date. OK, that may be a slight exaggeration, but an immediate response makes you appear an easier catch in the man’s eye, subconsciously lowering your perceived value on the site. That may sound awful, but in reality men enjoy the chase. So don’t let him know you’re that keen.
It can be frustrating to resort to tactics and game playing, but remember that you want to give the perception that you’re in demand, so take a bit of time to reply, especially at the start of a conversation. If you don’t like to think of it as playing a game, see it as a ritual, or a mating dance!
Taking four days to reply
Yes, I know what I said – but don’t take the mickey! You do still need to build up a rapport. It’s vital to get beyond a username and a selection of photos, and to start seeing one another as real human beings.
Don’t reply immediately, but do reply relatively promptly, and start to make a connection. After all, you never know where that connection may lead!