Okay so repeat after me: “Good communication is essential for a successful relationship”. Don’t roll your eyes at me. I know you know that, but are you really doing anything to encourage positive communication in your relationship? Here are some basic tips for better relationship communication. .
Simple enough? Not really may be. Sometimes all your partner wants is for you to listen. The two most common mistakes a “Listener” makes are:
Do you automatically assume you know what your partner wants to say? Well, you don’t. Even if you do…shut up! Your partner probably wants to be heard without being cut off all the time. Also, by assuming you already know the problem; you might end up creating more problems because you misunderstood.
Again, may be all your partner wants is for you to listen. Every problem doesn’t need solving. So don’t try to work out how to “solve” something the moment your partner starts talking. Listen and when they’re done talking, ask if there’s anything you can do. Sometimes there isn’t but just having someone to talk to can make a person feel heaps better.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, emotions and feelings and your partner should feel comfortable expressing them to you. If you react to everything they say with “Don’t be stupid” or “That’s crazy” or “I can’t believe you just said that” – it’s a message to your partner that you disapprove and you being judgmental is enough to make them stop communicating with you.
Use body language for positive communication as well. For example, maintaining eye contact during a conversation is a must. But if you keep looking at other things and people while your partner’s talking, it’s just going to make them feel unimportant and like you’re not interested in what they’re saying.
Be Honest Not Heartless
Honesty is important in a relationship and telling your partner how you feel is great. But, delivery is important. How you say something is just as important as what you’re saying, especially when you’re saying something unpleasant. Also, keep a check on your tone – it has more of an effect than you realise.
Dump the Power Struggle
It’s really not just about who’s right and who’s wrong. So dump the relationship power struggle because apart from an inflated ego, what else are you going to gain from figuring out who’s to blame for an argument. Don’t get sucked into the blame game because you won’t make much progress with your relationship when all your energies are spent trying to find “the culprit”.
Talk Less/ Talk More
Ladies: Talk less. You don’t always have to talk, about everything. Conversation is important yes, but men don’t always like to talk. So it’s okay if they want to be left alone some times and it’s okay if they don’t want to talk. Pushing it will only make things worse.
Men: Talk more. Yes, please do. Women want to know what’s going on inside your head and it’s not fair to shut them out. If you’re in a relationship, learn to share your feelings, thoughts etc.
Lack of proper communication can complicate a relationship and so many couples break up because they just don’t know how to communicate with each other. Now that you’ve read this, hopefully you’ll avoid some of the more common pitfalls.